Loisa Does It

That's a bad pun on Easy Duz It, but I do have to tell about what Loisa did on New Years.

Brookyln (who doesn't believe this journal exists) and I spilled significant ink over how we would spend New Years. I knew it would be for the best to avoid New York--too many out-of-towners, and I don't play the nightlife game as I once did, but still refuse absolutely to spend any money for the privilege of standing on line in the cold, the nightmare of traffic and taxis on New Years, the nightmare of millions of people in Times Square (why?)--no thanks. We determined through indifference that DC would be the best place to spend New Years, and settled on an open bar with nice food and a heated rooftop with twelve or so friends.

Loisa came, of course, as did a friend of Brooklyn's from Philly, Charlie. Loisa doesn't get out much, and when a few weeks ago Brooklyn mentioned she plans to move to Seattle to live with her boyfriend, Loisa burst into tears. Brooklyn and I were shocked, and agreed that this inappropriate behavior had much more to do with Loisa's own loneliness and despair than real concern over Brooklyn departing DC. When Brooklyn told me she planned to move to Seattle, I thought it was wonderful, and I far prefer a lengthy ride in a plane than a lengthy ride on a bus. It will be sad to see less of Brooklyn, of course, but it will also be nice to have an excuse to visit Seattle. I very much want to see Olympic National Park, and have wanted to do so for many years.

On New Year's Eve, Loisa and Charlie began to chat independent of the rest of the group, an occurrence which Brooklyn and I noted. Later, after midnight, Loisa approached us and explained that yes, she was interested in Charlie, that Charlie had asked her if he could kiss her, but that she wasn't sure what to do, was it a good idea, would Brooklyn assure her that Charlie was a good person, a responsible person, a safe person? Yes, Brooklyn could attest to Charlie's good character, and did, but Loisa remained uncertain. The bar closed around two, and Brooklyn, another friend, and I felt it was time to move on to a more crunk venue. We were twenty minutes away, on foot, and it was warm and dry. Brooklyn checked Uber, which had an 8x surge charge. "We should really walk," I said. Brooklyn reaches a stage of intoxication and becomes unreasonable and stubborn, and the more I suggested we walk the more determined she became to order an Uber, I'm sure. Eventually she insisted we take an Uber, and ordered it. This was convenient, because it enabled us to abandon Loisa and Charlie together, which we did. We felt good about it--as friends, we had done right by Loisa, this would be good for her.

The Uber, a ten minute ride at most, was $47. The reward of the stubborn!

The rest of the night was amusing if uneventful. We slept late New Years Day, and met for brunch around two. Loisa appeared, in high spirits, but looking rough. Loisa lives in a lovely home on Capitol Hill. Two floors of a beautiful old DC-style brownstone are hers, with a couple in the garden apartment below. Charlie and Loisa had returned to her apartment around two the night before. Loisa made Charlie promise he didn't have an STD: "Brooklyn is a very close friend of mine and if I catch anything she will do something terrible to you." Brooklyn, as you can imagine, reacted to this with a low shudder.

Loisa and Charlie hear a crash around 5:30 in the morning as well as the sound of rushing water; Loisa believes there is a storm and a tree has fallen on the house (this has occurred twice in the past). But when she looks out into the street, it's not raining. She runs downstairs, and in the living room an enormous piece of the plaster ceiling has fallen, narrowly missing Loisa's beloved guinea pigs, Tom and Jerry.

Sidenote: Loisa has flown with Tom and Jerry. The first time she did this, she had her veterinarian type up and sign a letter stating that these were Loisa's "anxiety animals," and that the guinea pigs must accompany her at all times. Loisa walked through airport security clutching Tom and Jerry. When she arrived at the gate, she walked up to the counter and alerted the flight attendant on duty she would be flying with Tom and Jerry, thinking this was the responsible thing to do. The flight attendant balked, and told Loisa there was no protocol for flying with such animals, and that she would have to speak with her supervisor. Loisa produced the veterinarian's letter, which according to the flight attendant, was useless--Loisa would need a letter from her therapist that stated she was mentally unstable. Loisa burst into tears, clutched Tom and Jerry, and cried, "I am mentally unstable!" Loisa was able to board the flight, and has't had issues flying with Tom and Jerry since.

In the still of the night, Charlie, running around naked, grabs some towels, and both Loisa and Charlie frantically attempt to mop up the mess and assess the damage. Loisa immediately calls a plumber, but it's the crack of dawn on New Years--no one is available. She calls her landlord, a management company--nothing. The downstairs neighbors are nowhere to be found--they're on vacation. Charlie manages to shut off the water, Loisa turns up the heat and turns on some fans, and the two of them spend the next few hours cleaning.

Loisa was in high spirits at brunch. Brooklyn and I made the right decision: Loisa seemed entirely unconcerned with the calamity of the night before. She was pleasant, fun, and alert. If Loisa and Charlie ever end up together, they'll have one hell of a "how we met" story.